


Try Again. Next Finger.

by lizziepro



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 18:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6716074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizziepro/pseuds/lizziepro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyuhyun loses control after Siwon leaves. Or had he always been like this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Try Again. Next Finger.

Clutter on the floors. Food surrounding the trash can. Old soju bottles lying around his bed.

What color was the carpet again? Had it always ben so green?

This was nothing compared to the cluttered feeling in his mind, the feeling of being in a cave the size of a cupboard with the trash of a landfill and no way out of the spiral.

Kyuhyun didn't remember when he'd gotten to be this bad. When he'd decided to let everything go, and stop caring. He worked a shitty job that allowed him barely enough money to feed himself, but it paid the bills.

He picked at his thumbs, tearing the skin little by little. It hurt, but at least he could control this pain.

Or maybe that was a lie too.

Picking, pulling at the skin.

He'd foolishly convinced himself long ago that it'd be worth it.

Living this way. Living in a state of almost poverty, just to stay in the city he loved with the man he loved.

But it didn't turn out that way.

Siwon had left one day, saying he was going on a trip, and that he'd be back in a week.

He did this for work sometimes. Kyuhyun was used to it.

But this time, he didn't come back.

Not only that, but his phone had been cut off, his emails left unread and without response.

Kyuhyun didn't remember when he'd gotten to be this bad.

When he lost control of his life.

He'd been keeping himself busy for a while, plenty busy, so he couldn't shut down and think about how much he hated everything when he was alone.

But when he did stop and try to shut down, and it resulted in this.

Had it always been like this?

Had he always been latching onto people because he was absolutely disgusted with everything when he was alone?

Was he ever truly in love with Siwon or was he just using him?

Did he leave because he was being poisoned by Kyuhyun?

He hated that he couldn't control that feeling, that feeling of disgust.

He picked at the skin on his fingers once more, bleeding a bit now.

It'd become ugly.

It hurt.

He stopped picking and stared.

Maybe he couldn't control this either, and that scared him.

Try again. Next Finger.


End file.
